sigh

i hate and love mirrors

they reflect the superficiality and the shallowness of the world

no truth is reflected yet it is the staple of many existence's

it kills people

rarely saves people

destroying people with uncertainty

Stop being depressed-o

I hatehatehatehate it

crying is weakness

expressions are weakness

everything is weakness

Cooking

I really should start cooking more. If I recall, I resolved to cook more. I have recently become interested in making soup. I want to try the mini food processor that we figured out how to use.

I had a dream about doing a disciplined morning routine. When I woke up this morning I was so tired that I didn't get to do it. It disappointed me. I wanted to wake up, and do fifty one armed push-ups. Run down to the park and buy a mexican bread.

I guess I will try tomorrow.

Getting off ass

Prior Sickness

I really hope I don't slip into my psychologically induced sickness again...

*stars in eyes* Revelation

I have just realized that there are actually times when I think that talking is too much trouble - as in "I'm-too-lazy-to-talk-to-you" or "the-conversations-so-pointless-why-are-we-doing-this-again". It's weird, because I love to talk to people. I suppose that the temptation of being able to use a computer (and the Internet), completely beats having worthless, unmemorable conversations with my lunch-buddies (yuck).

Perhaps even loudmouths need solitude.

Sleep

Resolution: Go to sleep earlier.
Reason: I've been falling alseep in class lately, and it's a bad feeling + when I sleep on the table I always feel like my pants are falling down.

New York Bestsellers

Resolution: Read most of the interesting books on the New York Best Sellers list.
Reason: So I'll have social talking points, and to get more literary sense.

Clarinet

Resolution: To get up to practicing four hours a day on clarinet - and get something out of it.

I will begin with 30minutes and slowly increase, so by the end of the summer, perhaps several hours will be normal.

Reason: I have found my goal. I need to become the equal of those young musicians my age who are on the path to being professional clarinetists. I also would really really like to join this youth orchestra...that is one of the greatest in the world.

Hah, fat chance. Whatever, I think that this may be a beginning of passion.

Beans

I was just tinking dat I'm da awesomist human bean dat I ever sawl!

Life's good.


not.

I was just copying Harry, don't throw tomatoes!

Noooooo not the left shoulder! Noooooooooooooooo! *tomato thrown at my left shoulder*.

Oh you bitch, I'm going to get you! *chases after tomato thrower like a rabid dog*.

How was that entertainment for ya?

-abe

Less juice

I think that I'm drinking too much juice. There's so much sugar that I get hyper and then I have a sugar crash, and then die...

-abe

Exercise

My muscles are gone. GONE. When I was doing fencing my arm was like *BOM* could totally see it. Now my biceps's and triceps are nothing but tiny indents. I must start doing push-ups again.

-littleleaf

Sore teeth

Must go to dentist soon. My leg is dying, crap crap crap. My whole right side is aching- especially my calf. Gaaaaaah, pain pain pain!

I'm going to stop my stupid vegetarian thing on F-Sunday. Haha...yeah- shut up!

-Abe

dime for thought

I signed up to volunteer for the "March of Dimes", and I'm expecting to receive the application through my email soon. Recently my passion has become volunteering at as many things as possible. I believe that this is just a result of not having a life. I didn't get off the bus again because I was too busy staring at the 'so-so' looking Latino guy- too bad he was gangsta'. Honestly, that wasn't the real reason I missed my stop. I was just dazed and trying not to look too lumpy in my middle school sweatshirt while guarding the seat next to me with my backpack so bad smelling people (who like to sit at the back of the bus) wouldn't sit next to me. r

I just remembered that this one time, someone asked me for directions- and being the directionally challenged piece of poo that I am, accidentally gave them the wrong directions... and they followed them. They got off at the next stop like I told them to, when their stop was five stops away. I think that after that I started to get some stink-eyes, but I didn't see them helping or correcting me so, hah! Their fault to.

In French class we discussed how SF is the open/wild/queer capital of the world, and that nobody would mind if everyone decided to streak through the torch thingy. Also how the Chinese government has fucked up ethics.

Gotta eat ma chow'

-Abe

Hobo's and Racism

I noticed that lately these pieces of poo on the bus who are incidentally Caucasian, are always being racist- out loud. I don't give a damn if they are thinking racists thoughts, because I think racist thoughts too sometimes- but at least it's in my mind! This time it was some guy rambling to another dirty smelling hobo about how the "chinks" and "chinamen" belong in China, and Tibet or something or other. I didn't pay too much attention, but the packed bus (of course many asians were there) rolled their eyes.

Just an apple to chew on!

-Abe

Passion

How can I find my passion. [One] of the reasons I'm so flaky is that I don't have a passion. I will try to find a passion in music- but it's difficult. I'm no Beetoven, but just maybe...if I practice, (I believe I have a bit of talent), just maybe....

I've tried almost all the instruments that you can find in an orchestra- even traditional instruments...

HELP!! If there is a being out there higher than the human species- I need guidance!

Jane's Story and My Mistake

Fuck, I broke my vegetarianism! Just for one day. On April 13 I will break it too, because it's my brother and dad's birthday, and we will eat good "Chinee" food.

This is Jane's story for a contest I edited it so here it IS!
--
Mrs. Goose Pays a Visit to Mrs. Pig

It was on a cold Friday morning when I finally had to let my piglets go. It all started the day before that dreadful Friday morning, when Mrs. Goose was scheduled to stop by for afternoon tea. Now I’ve always thought that geese were dull creatures, but Mrs. Goose was not only foolish and silly, but also nosy. She was always shoving her large beak in everyone else’s business [except her own.] Since she was the biggest gossiper in the woods, it always paid to come by for a chat.

Mrs. Goose came by right after little Freddy, Georgy, and Pig left to go play in the meadows. She settled herself quite comfortably in the kitchen and pecked her way through the plate of scones that I had just laid out, before I even had the chance to pour the tea. She finished the plate and gave her thanks by commenting on how it was ever so dry and bland the scones were and she even offered to give me a recipe of her own. I declined and quickly changed the topic before my temper got the best of me and then I’d finally give that beak what it deserved.

“So,” I asked. “ How is Mrs. Mouse? I haven’t seen her in ages?”

“Oh dear! Haven’t you heard? She’s just had her twenty-fifth grandchild!” exclaimed Mrs. Goose. “Her sons and daughters are sure making a place for themselves in this world!”

“Well where has Mrs. Raccoon been lately? I haven’t seen her for a while.”

"Oh my! Haven’t you seen her teaching her new bunch of rascals to gather?” breathed Mrs. Goose. “By now they must already be gathering their own stash for winter!”

“Oh…you don’t say...” I said fidgeting slightly in my seat.

“Speaking of children,” Mrs. Goose said eyeing me. “Where is little Freddy, Georgy, and Pig? I haven’t had a chance to chat with them in quite a while.”

I returned her gaze calmly.“Well if you must know- my piglets are making a place for themselves in the world, and getting along quite nicely," I bluffed.

“Oh really?" Mrs. Goose inquired. “You must tell me which part of the woods they have built their homes in. I must pay them a visit soon!”

“Somewhere beyond the hills,” I replied vaguely, waving her question away. “Please understand dear Mrs. Goose, they have just built their houses and are very busy right now. Once they have settled nicely, they’ll be sure to invite you over for some tea.”

“Good, good,” Mrs. Goose replied with satisfaction.

After Mrs. Goose left, and I realized that my three little piglets would have to find their own place in the world, in other words, move out.

The very next morning, before Freddy, Georgy and Pig had woken up, I made a feast of slop and buttermilk for breakfast and packed each of them a beautifully wrapped lunch, [and spent the rest of the morning emptying the house for money](Um....whaaat?]. Oh, I knew that once my piglets saw the breakfast feast and the wrapped lunches, they'd suspect something. Well at least my Pig had, for he was the smartest of the bunch.

After they stuffed breakfast down their tummies, I handed each of them a coin pouch and a wrapped lunch.

“Oh dear mother pig,” said the three little pigs in unison. “What is happening?”

“Oh my three little pigs, you must find a place in the world for yourselves. Go build a house somewhere beyond the hills.” I wept. “ But remember to look out for one another, oh and before I forget-”. I found a piece of straw, a stick, and a brick around the house when I was searching for coins. I handed the straw to Freddy, the stick to Georgy, and finally the brick to Pig.

“Oh come back and visit your poor old mother pig once you’ve made a place for yourself in the world!” I called, waving my handkerchief as they disappeared underneath the sunset. After they left, I felt horrible. But I suppose I had to let them go eventually. Feeling quite satisfied, I decided to pay Mrs. Goose a visit.

The End

Homework

Resolution: Do homework after school- and I mean right after school...
Reason: I'm not getting enough sleep lately.

-Littleleaf

Safe

Resolution: Be more careful with valuables.
Reason: Sexy green ipod nano was lost today. R.I.P.

Littleleaf