Saturday, September 13, 2008

Stop being depressed-o

I hatehatehatehate it

crying is weakness

expressions are weakness

everything is weakness

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


I really should start cooking more. If I recall, I resolved to cook more. I have recently become interested in making soup. I want to try the mini food processor that we figured out how to use.

I had a dream about doing a disciplined morning routine. When I woke up this morning I was so tired that I didn't get to do it. It disappointed me. I wanted to wake up, and do fifty one armed push-ups. Run down to the park and buy a mexican bread.

I guess I will try tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Prior Sickness

I really hope I don't slip into my psychologically induced sickness again...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

*stars in eyes* Revelation

I have just realized that there are actually times when I think that talking is too much trouble - as in "I'm-too-lazy-to-talk-to-you" or "the-conversations-so-pointless-why-are-we-doing-this-again". It's weird, because I love to talk to people. I suppose that the temptation of being able to use a computer (and the Internet), completely beats having worthless, unmemorable conversations with my lunch-buddies (yuck).

Perhaps even loudmouths need solitude.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Resolution: Go to sleep earlier.
Reason: I've been falling alseep in class lately, and it's a bad feeling + when I sleep on the table I always feel like my pants are falling down.

Monday, May 5, 2008

New York Bestsellers

Resolution: Read most of the interesting books on the New York Best Sellers list.
Reason: So I'll have social talking points, and to get more literary sense.

Friday, May 2, 2008


Resolution: To get up to practicing four hours a day on clarinet - and get something out of it.

I will begin with 30minutes and slowly increase, so by the end of the summer, perhaps several hours will be normal.

Reason: I have found my goal. I need to become the equal of those young musicians my age who are on the path to being professional clarinetists. I also would really really like to join this youth orchestra...that is one of the greatest in the world.

Hah, fat chance. Whatever, I think that this may be a beginning of passion.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008


I was just tinking dat I'm da awesomist human bean dat I ever sawl!

Life's good.


I was just copying Harry, don't throw tomatoes!

Noooooo not the left shoulder! Noooooooooooooooo! *tomato thrown at my left shoulder*.

Oh you bitch, I'm going to get you! *chases after tomato thrower like a rabid dog*.

How was that entertainment for ya?


Less juice

I think that I'm drinking too much juice. There's so much sugar that I get hyper and then I have a sugar crash, and then die...


Sunday, April 27, 2008


My muscles are gone. GONE. When I was doing fencing my arm was like *BOM* could totally see it. Now my biceps's and triceps are nothing but tiny indents. I must start doing push-ups again.


Friday, April 11, 2008

Sore teeth

Must go to dentist soon. My leg is dying, crap crap crap. My whole right side is aching- especially my calf. Gaaaaaah, pain pain pain!

I'm going to stop my stupid vegetarian thing on F-Sunday. Haha...yeah- shut up!


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

dime for thought

I signed up to volunteer for the "March of Dimes", and I'm expecting to receive the application through my email soon. Recently my passion has become volunteering at as many things as possible. I believe that this is just a result of not having a life. I didn't get off the bus again because I was too busy staring at the 'so-so' looking Latino guy- too bad he was gangsta'. Honestly, that wasn't the real reason I missed my stop. I was just dazed and trying not to look too lumpy in my middle school sweatshirt while guarding the seat next to me with my backpack so bad smelling people (who like to sit at the back of the bus) wouldn't sit next to me. r

I just remembered that this one time, someone asked me for directions- and being the directionally challenged piece of poo that I am, accidentally gave them the wrong directions... and they followed them. They got off at the next stop like I told them to, when their stop was five stops away. I think that after that I started to get some stink-eyes, but I didn't see them helping or correcting me so, hah! Their fault to.

In French class we discussed how SF is the open/wild/queer capital of the world, and that nobody would mind if everyone decided to streak through the torch thingy. Also how the Chinese government has fucked up ethics.

Gotta eat ma chow'


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Hobo's and Racism

I noticed that lately these pieces of poo on the bus who are incidentally Caucasian, are always being racist- out loud. I don't give a damn if they are thinking racists thoughts, because I think racist thoughts too sometimes- but at least it's in my mind! This time it was some guy rambling to another dirty smelling hobo about how the "chinks" and "chinamen" belong in China, and Tibet or something or other. I didn't pay too much attention, but the packed bus (of course many asians were there) rolled their eyes.

Just an apple to chew on!


Monday, April 7, 2008


How can I find my passion. [One] of the reasons I'm so flaky is that I don't have a passion. I will try to find a passion in music- but it's difficult. I'm no Beetoven, but just maybe...if I practice, (I believe I have a bit of talent), just maybe....

I've tried almost all the instruments that you can find in an orchestra- even traditional instruments...

HELP!! If there is a being out there higher than the human species- I need guidance!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Jane's Story and My Mistake

Fuck, I broke my vegetarianism! Just for one day. On April 13 I will break it too, because it's my brother and dad's birthday, and we will eat good "Chinee" food.

This is Jane's story for a contest I edited it so here it IS!
Mrs. Goose Pays a Visit to Mrs. Pig

It was on a cold Friday morning when I finally had to let my piglets go. It all started the day before that dreadful Friday morning, when Mrs. Goose was scheduled to stop by for afternoon tea. Now I’ve always thought that geese were dull creatures, but Mrs. Goose was not only foolish and silly, but also nosy. She was always shoving her large beak in everyone else’s business [except her own.] Since she was the biggest gossiper in the woods, it always paid to come by for a chat.

Mrs. Goose came by right after little Freddy, Georgy, and Pig left to go play in the meadows. She settled herself quite comfortably in the kitchen and pecked her way through the plate of scones that I had just laid out, before I even had the chance to pour the tea. She finished the plate and gave her thanks by commenting on how it was ever so dry and bland the scones were and she even offered to give me a recipe of her own. I declined and quickly changed the topic before my temper got the best of me and then I’d finally give that beak what it deserved.

“So,” I asked. “ How is Mrs. Mouse? I haven’t seen her in ages?”

“Oh dear! Haven’t you heard? She’s just had her twenty-fifth grandchild!” exclaimed Mrs. Goose. “Her sons and daughters are sure making a place for themselves in this world!”

“Well where has Mrs. Raccoon been lately? I haven’t seen her for a while.”

"Oh my! Haven’t you seen her teaching her new bunch of rascals to gather?” breathed Mrs. Goose. “By now they must already be gathering their own stash for winter!”

“Oh…you don’t say...” I said fidgeting slightly in my seat.

“Speaking of children,” Mrs. Goose said eyeing me. “Where is little Freddy, Georgy, and Pig? I haven’t had a chance to chat with them in quite a while.”

I returned her gaze calmly.“Well if you must know- my piglets are making a place for themselves in the world, and getting along quite nicely," I bluffed.

“Oh really?" Mrs. Goose inquired. “You must tell me which part of the woods they have built their homes in. I must pay them a visit soon!”

“Somewhere beyond the hills,” I replied vaguely, waving her question away. “Please understand dear Mrs. Goose, they have just built their houses and are very busy right now. Once they have settled nicely, they’ll be sure to invite you over for some tea.”

“Good, good,” Mrs. Goose replied with satisfaction.

After Mrs. Goose left, and I realized that my three little piglets would have to find their own place in the world, in other words, move out.

The very next morning, before Freddy, Georgy and Pig had woken up, I made a feast of slop and buttermilk for breakfast and packed each of them a beautifully wrapped lunch, [and spent the rest of the morning emptying the house for money](Um....whaaat?]. Oh, I knew that once my piglets saw the breakfast feast and the wrapped lunches, they'd suspect something. Well at least my Pig had, for he was the smartest of the bunch.

After they stuffed breakfast down their tummies, I handed each of them a coin pouch and a wrapped lunch.

“Oh dear mother pig,” said the three little pigs in unison. “What is happening?”

“Oh my three little pigs, you must find a place in the world for yourselves. Go build a house somewhere beyond the hills.” I wept. “ But remember to look out for one another, oh and before I forget-”. I found a piece of straw, a stick, and a brick around the house when I was searching for coins. I handed the straw to Freddy, the stick to Georgy, and finally the brick to Pig.

“Oh come back and visit your poor old mother pig once you’ve made a place for yourself in the world!” I called, waving my handkerchief as they disappeared underneath the sunset. After they left, I felt horrible. But I suppose I had to let them go eventually. Feeling quite satisfied, I decided to pay Mrs. Goose a visit.

The End

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Resolution: Do homework after school- and I mean right after school...
Reason: I'm not getting enough sleep lately.


Monday, March 17, 2008


Resolution: Be more careful with valuables.
Reason: Sexy green ipod nano was lost today. R.I.P.


Sunday, March 16, 2008

Computer script

Resolution: To learn C and C++ script
Reason: To become a computer geek


Saturday, March 15, 2008


I need to get a jacket. It was freezing cold today. My fingers numbed, and my nose turned pink. Let me tell you, I looked like a brown bear.

What was weird today was that earlier I was debating with my mother, whether pro-choice was actually a choice (long story). Anyways, there were these people outside the Metreon advertising for the new movie of Dr. Seuss's, and I got this orange glossy paper. I didn't read it until later but actually it was thanking Dr. Seuss for promoting the "pro-life" argument. Is this just coincidence, or fate?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Money makes the world go "whoooooooo" (round)

I need to get a job. No seriously. I'm broke as Hades. So broke that I can't even afford a new light bulb. How will I pay for college? This sucks. My clothes are getting too short. My shoes are getting holy (pun intended), and all my snacks consists primarily of junk-food (for that's all I can afford).

How will I get a job? I am looking into summer internships that have a good stipend.


Monday, March 10, 2008


Resolution: Exercise more

Reason: My cardio sucks.


Ron Paul haha

Hate him, his face is like a clown. What a way to generalize, man I surprise myself with my superficiality (is that even a word?).

He's racist.

He's a poseur.

He is the kind of man that people vote for when they're desperate.

Stupid Republican.

Man, I have some problems in judging character. Look at mine!


The Darkness of Caves

Darkness of Caves

caves are dark he said
is there a shark?

indeed he replied
what is inside that cave?

slimy water
dark slimy water he added

who said?
i have been in the cave

is it scary?

i never came back
then who are you?

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Another post within half an hour!

I just wanted to say something that hit my mind just now that I would like to share.

*Breathes in a deep breath* .

I think my parents are losing faith in my ability to get into college. Recently my father has been talking to me about how I really need to raise my GPA or I'll end up going to City college which I quote "isn't so bad, but if you want your goals to stay the same...". How sad. After you get older, I suppose the clarity bell of reality starts to ring incessantly. I need to grow up and seriously consider an occupation that I will be able to sustain as well as rake in a substantial amount of money. I have recently become interest in health, but if I seriously want to consider the medical field, I really need to "up" *cough* improve my grades. 

I have also been considering joining the United States Navy, but that's only if we get a president who is willing to end the war (i.e. either Clinton or Obama, it doesn't matter) soon. I don't really want to be fighting against people in a "war". Basically the whole motive is for me to earn experience in navigation and so called "military experience", which will help if I actually try and get into the Senate later on. Who knows what the future holds. Que sara sara...Whatever will be...

Ciao buddies-


A story of Man Friendship

I wrote this haha.

Unsatisfying Vengeance

Beep...beep...beep... Pulsating fury. My temples start to heat up, pressure builds upon my eyes, nostrils flaring violet. My face was as crimson as the blood that lay within my veins. Heart beating insanely, I stared at the side of their face, truly concentrating. Truly envisioning. All my hate and bitterness directed at a small dot I created to the left of their eye. I imagined a fire slowly, but steadily burning on their face, like enduring process of burning ants with a magnifying glass. Beep...beep... My brain had begun to slowly pulse with my previous emotions, my excruciating pain. Slowly it became more realistic than before, and I truly believed- no I saw it, his temple bulged, and it was on fire! What I didn't understand was why he wasn't howling in agony, why the pain wasn't reaching his nerves, why his brain was neither roasting nor responding ...

A long time ago there were two boys, best friends. They did everything together, when one day one of them stopped speaking to the other. The one being ignored, ignored the other out of spite. So they both ignored each other. Being best friends, they made up, but the second boy never knew what triggered the dispute. It was not until five years later that he was confronted with that event as an example of his friends chronic dilemma.


Why didn't the pain reach him? I could clearly see the fire scalding the flesh around his skull. It looked like a scene from a horror movie. The smell of singed flesh was even there. Everyone was distant, he was right in front of me- ignoring me! How could this have happened. By now his face was indistinguishable, a mere distorted lump of coal, like his lungs. There was no satisfaction, I did not receive the desired feeling of triumph. I could not see his pain, it was as if he was accepting death. No! That cannot happen! All I wanted was to hear his scream, his scream of agony, even the slightest twitch of discontent on his pale features would have curbed my desire. In no way was I content with this sort of vengeance, there is no satisfaction from charring a corpse.


Thursday, February 28, 2008

If Your Read My Main Blog

Resolution: To become vegan.
Reason: I need some kind of discipline in my life. Why not start with helping...the Earth?
Logic: I will first start vegetarian, then gradually ease into staying away from dairy products, then eggs...then so on and so forth - increasing the amount of soy I eat as a replacement for the protein deficit.

ciao 4 now bitches -


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Get a life

Resolution: Get a social life
Reason: My life's boring - losers must eventually take the stand - how do you think Steve Job's got up there?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Bowl Noodle

Resoultion: Never drink the Bowl Noodle soup
Reason: You feel so sick afterwards, you also get a great craving for sugar and more salt

Gah, today I had so much sodium that tomorrow I swear I can't eat any salt...Godamn yummy stuff!

Ciao 4 now -


Monday, February 25, 2008

I Give Up

Yeah the whole Yugoslavia fiasco is over, too lazy to finish onto a more "cooler" topic.

Have you ever gone bicycling? It's just so FUN!!!!!! So, yeah, try it sometime, on a sexy road bike on the streets of San Fran...AWESOME.

I found out that Raul *Castro* (thanks for the correction home skillet)  is a strong communist leader...(socialist if I must be accurate)...but the thing about Raul that is different from his brother Fidel is that Raul will try and mend Cuba's economy by improving relations with the U.S. Whoohoo. But Raul is old too...only five years younger than his bro - how long will he last? Oh -
and Raul has strong support from the military - because really that is where he get's his supporters! Lalalala, great loyalty from military is awesome.

Ciao 4 now -


Saturday, February 9, 2008

New Research Obtained about Yugoslavia

The six countries that were once part of Yugoslavia are Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, the Republic of Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia.

Random Thought

Did you know that when Yugoslavia dissolved, Serbia- the "ruling power" in Yugoslavia, decided to  destroy Croatia and...Bosnia I think, who were Muslims...scary- and this happened in the last decade~! After I was born. Of course, the United States, being the busy-body it is, intervened, and yeah...happy happy....not.

*walks away* I'm going to research this now!

tootles- 4 now


Friday, February 8, 2008

Yeah, another post/blog

I gotta sleep, but I couldn't resist the temptation to make another blog!

So today's resolution of Friday, February 8, 2008 is:

Continue to pursue your six-pack! =D

pe@ce & Ciao 4 now


ps: that's my new signature lol =D